Cleavers Chilli

A finishing chilli tang cannot disguise this appalling morsel barely comestible. You can see the use of seasoning and all the elements dotted in the Cumberland sausage meat, which rattles in its thinly applied shell of breadcrumbs like the yellow gift ovum in a Kinder Egg. The (free range?) egg takes up most of the inside, it’s colouring taking on a form of dishwater and the grey ring of over-boiling bleeds out into the once white albumen to amalgamate and form clouded grey. The yolk has formed into shrivelled wax clumps that stick to your teeth and give you breathe like a zombie.

One to avoid.

Price: £1.95

Overall: 1/5

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• Cleavers (forevereggsploring.com)

Randalls

There’s certainly a rustic appearance about the Randalls Butchers Scotch egg. It’s meaty with a thick, rugged rim of breadrumbs. Rough and crumbly. The sausage meat appears to be unseasoned. There are no flecks of colour. No black dots of pepper or green strands of parsley. You cannot scent fresh thyme or spring onion, but rather plain, flat sausage meat which cushions the centre egg. The egg itself is fine. Just fine. It’s not over-boiled and has a rich, vibrant orange yolk.

This is a run of the meal production. A basic Scotch egg. Faultless but by no means exciting.

Price: £

Overall: 2/5

Ben’s Canteen

Who claims precedence over a recipe? One who devised the creation or the establishment it homes? Well this is Dave Ahern’s third conception of the famed meaty morsel – at Ben’s Canteen in Clapham – and it’s his best. A triumph!

Yes, it’s over-complicated; interweaving as many ingredients as there are ideas in Ahern’s head, but the resulting orb is astonishing. Consider the list of ingredients: the sausage meat is prepped to the chef’s own unique spec, then cooked in a finished egg with cubed black pudding and baked bean flavourings. The breadcrumbs are made from dried mushrooms and bacon, which become powder-like, and is then added to fresh breadcrumbs (blitzed fresh white bread), rolled twice, and a final third time before cooking (deep-fried and then finished in the oven).

It’s an ideal size. A real feat when all the components of a full English breakfast are included, and rolled up inside. There’s a scorched bacon scent when cut and the meat reveals all those smells which make the full English such an staple. The breadcrumbs are strong and flavoursome, and there’s the faint taste of baked beans against black pudding. The centre egg is perfectly executed; warm and runny, soaking into the meat. Easily one of the best Scotch eggs in town, and perhaps the most moreish, so just as well it’s available throughout the day.

Price: £5.00
Overall: 5/5

The 12 Scotch eggs of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the second day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the third day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Rudolph Scotch egg,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Prancer Scotch egg,
A Rudolph Scotch egg,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Blitzen Scotch egg,
A Prancer Scotch egg,
A Rudolph Scotch egg,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
The Cupid Scotch egg,
A Blitzen Scotch egg,
A Prancer Scotch egg,
A Rudolph Scotch egg,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Christingle Scotch egg,
The Cupid Scotch egg,
A Blitzen Scotch egg,
A Prancer Scotch egg,
A Rudolph Scotch egg,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Pippin Scotch egg,
A Christingle Scotch egg,
The Cupid Scotch egg,
A Blitzen Scotch egg,
A Prancer Scotch egg,
A Rudolph Scotch egg,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
And a Merry Christmas Scotch egg under the tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
The Handmade Scotch Egg Company sent to me,
A Whisky Mac Scotch egg,
A Pippin Scotch egg,
A Christingle Scotch egg,
The Cupid Scotch egg,
A Blitzen Scotch egg,
A Prancer Scotch egg,
A Rudolph Scotch egg,
A Smokie Chestnut Scotch egg,
A Turkey Lurkey Scotch egg,
The Snowflake Scotch egg,
A Noel Scotch egg,
AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS SCOTCH EGG UNDER THE TREE!

Thanks to The Handmade Scotch Egg Company

Peyton and Byrne

What a treat while waiting for my train at St. Pancras. Not simply that I found Peyton and Byrne, but that they were serving warm Scotch eggs among the gooey fig rolls and Victoria Sponges. Result! A nice little price too at £2.50, as it meant coffee and a Scotch egg from a fiver. And very pleasing it was too.

The nose tingling sensation from warm sausage meat (100% Gloucester old spot pig) rose slowly and seductively into my nostrils, causing all the right stirrings. Seasoned with a little black pepper, a redolent lick heated the month.

The casing was crunchy and the centre egg perfectly boiled. There was no runny yolk but that’s fine. Instead a little glowing sun, warm and teasing.The sum of its parts all executed neatly and there’s no greater surprise and reward from a Scotch egg.

There’s also a new Chickpea Scotch Egg launched by Peyton and Byrne: spiced chickpea, carrots, tomatoes and roasted cauliflower wrapped around a free range egg. I shall be sampling soon. Very soon.

Price: £2.50
Overall: 4/5

Esquire

Wallace & Co.

Old Pudding Face’s Wallace & Co. in Putney supplies everything from homemade sausage rolls to gingerbread men and pastries. I was delighted to see the piled balls of Scotch eggs on the counter when I entered, and ordered immediately.

It arrived (as above), already cut into quarters. Panko breadcrumbs are replaced with flour and breadcrumbs, and I’m happy to report that the pleasing crunch remains. The sausage meat is warm and spectacled with black pudding and apple. They’re welcome flavours; the small black pudding spots give a deeper, rustic texture, while apple adds a little sweetness to the mix.

The egg is large with a bright yellow glow. It’s creamy, although rather average when compared with the efforts of the meat. In all, it’s an odd entry. The typical breadcrumb casing has been modified and the sausage seasoning has been adapted. It works, but there’s a little bit too much attention to detail for me, and it’s always a shame – when a golden orb is served to you warm and fresh – not to cut yourself and release that warm, sticky, sense-stealing aroma of hot meat… and miss out on a runny yolk.

Price: £3.00

Overall: 3.5/5

Cleavers

Another big entry with this cricket ball-sized Scotch egg from Cleavers butchers in Wandsworth Town. When cut down the centre the two halves are almost as big as some single Scotch eggs I’ve tried. There is a distinct separation between the breadcrumbs and the meat (Cumberland sausage), and the egg rattles in its casing. The well-seasoned, thick rim of sausage meat falls from the breadcrumbs and onto the plate. It is not bound to the panko wrapping and the assembly is broken.

The egg is free range and creamy. The yolk has a darker colouring than I’ve seen before, almost apricot. It’s good; no satisfying crunch or warm, runny yolk, however the Cumberland sausage is rich and for the price it’s one hell of a snack.

Price: £1.95

Overall: 3/5

In conversation with… Brian Turner

Brian Turner has worked at some of London’s most prestigious restaurants, including Simpson’s-in-the-Strand and The Savoy Grill, before moving to the Beau Rivage Palace in Lausanne. He then returned to England to work at Claridge’s and the Capital Hotel, which was awarded a prized Michelin star.

During his period at the Capital, Turner was responsible for the launch of the Greenhouse Restaurant and the Metro Wine Bar, becoming executive chef of both. Here he worked alongside many other well-known chefs including Gary Rhodes and Shaun Hill.

Brian appears regularly on Ready Steady Cook and Great Food Live, and in 2002, was awarded a CBE for his services to tourism and training in the catering industry.

At a recent lunch with Brian I discovered that he holds the Scotch egg in almost as high regard as I do, and states it as one of his favourite recipes.

Q. In three words, how would you describe a Scotch egg?
A. Simple, tasty, necessary.

Q. Best served hot or cold?
A. It depends on the mood and season, but if pushed, hot with chips!

Q. Served with or without condiments? If with, then which?
A. The best is without, but when needed, it must be HP brown sauce!

Q. Are there any variations on the Scotch egg that you enjoy, or do you believe that the best are the traditional examples (egg, sausage meat, breadcrumbs)?
A. Traditional all the way!

Q. In your book Brian Turner’s Favourite British Recipes, you list the Scotch egg as one of your favourite recipes. What sets the golden morsel apart from other classic snacks?
A. Its simplicity and heartwarming tastiness.

Q. In your opinion, where serves the best Scotch egg?
A. To date, the Sydney Arms, Sydney Street, in Chelsea, but I am still searching!

Follow Brian on Twitter: @BrianTurnerChef

Stay in the loop by visiting www.brianturner.co.uk

Walls

This is the type of petrol station pick-up that saps your energy. The 1950s package design screams disappointment, gluten, sulphates and saturated fat. The inferior wrapping glows from the buzzing refrigerator; cerulean blue and claret. Walls mark it with their logo and stamp: ‘Proper Food Since 1786.’ Only forty-eight years after the invention of the Scotch egg – so they claim to be quick off the mark.

And after all this. All the belittling and word-bashing, it’s actually okay. First thoughts are that it’s as expected: seasoned pork sausage meat wrapped around a whole hard boiled egg and coated in breadcrumbs.

Yes the breadcrumbs are crumbling, fine and thinly-applied. They’re dank and uninspiring, but surprisingly the sausage meat is rather good, peppered and flavoursome. There’s a decent amount (about 1cm) cushioning the centre egg. Also in the seasoning, according to the ingredients listing, is: sage, rapeseed oil, and herb extracts.

The egg is without that daunting green/blue highlight and has a bright yellow core. Apart from that, it’s traditionally set and without excitement.

Price: £1.89

Overall: 2.5/5